


The Road Back Up

by Ricresin



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depression, Essentially meta, Gen, Grieving, M/M, PTSD, Pre-Slash, Prompt Fic, Recovery, Secret Santa Exchange, Terrible Tagging Club, Texting, post-3B
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 13:31:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2774807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ricresin/pseuds/Ricresin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles learns how to move on, because he hasn't had to since he was ten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Road Back Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hoechlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoechlin/gifts).



When the dust of the Nogitsune's war settles, Stiles has a mere moment to think that it's really kind of anticlimactic. For all his yelling and threats, the demon fell quickly, as soon as Scott got his moment and seized it. But they wandered to the parking lot entrance, Stiles at a mere limping crawl more than anything even with Lydia's help, only to discover Aiden's body outside. Then, it was just numb acceptance and staring at a grown man cry over his brother before the Sheriff's car arrived to take Stiles home. And Stiles left without complaint with only a stilted back slap to his best friend, because he was tired and through all he's learned in the last year, he knows he can trust in the friends he's made to clean up the mess. 

When he gets home, he sleeps for thirty-six hours.

-

When Stiles was growing up, his mom was big on Sunday breakfasts. She'd go easy on him, let him stay up late Friday night and sleep in Saturday, allow him to throw in a frozen waffle in the morning so he could get up whenever his body let him. But Sunday his door was softly opened and the music from the radio in the kitchen would slowly drift in, followed by the scents of perfectly scrambled eggs, thick french toast, crisp bacon, and orange juice with no pulp. Stiles would complain usually, dramatically pretending to fall asleep at the table, but he loved it and - even though he never told her - he thinks she knew.

When he wakes up on Sunday, it's to the click of the door and the rapid beating of his heart, but no music. The eggs are undercooked, the french toast is flat, the bacon is greasy and the orange juice has pulp, because that's the way his dad prefers to drink it. He's sure, with how his dad watches him, that he is probably assuming that Stiles is underwhelmed with the presentation. He wants to tell his dad that he loves it, that it makes him feel safe and at home, that his dad makes him feel safe even without all this but that he appreciates having this again for the first time in years anyways. He probably would have said it before, in his own rambling off kilter way.

But that was before he listened to someone in his head with his voice ask for people to die, and before he watched shadow men with masks bring out their swords and do the deed. He sends his dad a smile that he knows doesn't look genuine enough and watches him flounder because he doesn't want to say, "People died, and I think it might have been a little my fault, so thank you for still loving me." And eventually, when he's done pushing his food around so it looks like he eats a lot more than he does, he puts his dishes in the sink and goes back to bed without looking behind him. If he sees his dad's reaction, it's just going to break his heart.

-

TO: Scottie, 3:06 PM  
Have you talked to Lydia?

FROM: Scottie, 3:10 PM  
yeah but only a little. ive been trying to spend a lot of time with my mom. how are you feeling??

TO: Scottie, 3:30 PM  
Tired. 

TO: Scottie, 3:31 PM  
Are you okay?

FROM: Scottie, 3:33 PM  
yeah. are you?

-

The first person who visits him, when it becomes obvious he isn't going to leave the house in awhile, is Malia. He'd like to say he's surprised, but she's a werecoyote who let him rub off on her in an insane asylum, so he basically tells himself to stop expecting rationality and just rolls with it. His dad knocks on his door, looks as if he's going to ask something, and then waves her in and closes the door behind him. She meets his eyes, though it may only seem like a challenge to him, before sitting on his desk chair and leaving him alone to his sheets.

He clears his throat, just to give himself a second before he speaks. "Hey, what's up?"

"I'm trying to be normal, but none of you will talk to me after your friends died." Her voice is matter of fact, and he wonders what the definition of the word 'tact' is. "Why, 'what's up' for you?"

"Nothing great. What do you mean by normal? Wanting to buy a house in the suburbs? Get a Volvo to drive yourself to fifth grade?"

"Fourth grade. And I don't know what a Volvo is." Malia stands up and crawls onto the bed, crossing her legs in front of him and knocking his book to the side. He wasn't really reading it anyways. "Derek says you helped Scott control the shift when he was bitten."

"I did what I could. Wait, why have you been talking to Derek?"

"Because he's the only person who would talk to me."

Stiles sighs, and can't help feeling that he's dropping the ball in some ways. He knows he has an excuse, a pretty damn big one. And he knows that everyone grieves and recovers differently but he's not really sure how he should yet, so his body just.. hasn't. "Well, don't listen to anything he says, because he's kind of crap at everything." 

She narrows her eyes at him, finally breaking that wide stare. "He told me to come to you."

"Yeah, well, maybe that was a crap idea."

"What's wrong with you? Is it because that hunter died?"

Stiles remembers then that Malia has nothing to grieve for, nothing to recover from. She didn't know Allison, she didn't know Aiden, she didn't get possessed, she didn't have her son kill people. She just thrived in a war zone like only an animal can. "Yeah. It's because that hunter died."

He didn't bother trying to explain how much more than a hunter Allison was as he asked her to leave.

-

TO: Scottie, 8:33 PM  
I think Malia is having trouble controlling her shift.

FROM: Scottie, 8:40 PM  
oh crap did she hurt anyone

TO: Scottie, 8:43 PM  
Apparently, Derek is working with her. And actually helping.

FROM: Scottie, 8:45 PM  
he actually helped a lot while you were not all there

TO: Scottie, 8:59 PM  
Not all there? lol 

FROM: Scottie, 9:00 PM  
just go easy on him okay?

FROM: Scottie, 10:20 PM  
im sorry

-

His dad stays home from work for several weeks following everything. It's nice, to have someone there, but Stiles is clear on repeatedly saying he doesn't need to sacrifice the safety of other people just to watch his son lay around. His dad always reminds him that there are multiple officers on the force to take up for him. He wants to make sure Stiles starts to eat more and build his strength back up, because he knows how Stiles can get. Stiles thinks he also wants to stay home in case there are demons in his house.

One day his dad comes into his room and leans against his desk as Stiles stares at his computer. Eventually Stiles asks what's going on, and he can tell by his dad's hesitance that it isn't anything good. 

"I called the principal. They said you could have off from school until winter break is over, but they'd have to play it by ear how next semester goes as to whether or not you'll need summer school. Or, if you wanted, you could start taking night classes in December, or even.." He waves in the direction of his computer. "Online stuff. I guess they have classes on there or something?"

Stiles closes down the computer and goes to sleep, because he doesn't have an answer and he's a kid so he's allowed to think this is unfair. His dad makes the decision for him.

-

The first time Stiles chooses to leave the house, his father is finally back at work and the kitchen has no food. There's a small mom and pop grocery store down the road, and he wants to go so he does, and he doesn't know why everything isn't that simple. The aisles are bright, the food is colorful, the floors are clean and the cart squeaks. It's equally parts terrifying and exhilarating, and for some reason the environment seems so much different than anything he's experienced in awhile. He's a normal teenager, with a not-so-normal life, this is his hometown and he feels like a stranger.

Apparently, that's what happens when you're possessed for a month. He should write a book.

He's staring at the different kinds of yogurt and simultaneously thinking how unimportant every choice is while hating himself for no longer caring about the atrocity that is Key Lime pie, when he realizes someone stopped their cart in front of his. His first instinct is to apologize and get far away, but when he sees it's only Isaac he stops. Isaac doesn't have any food, doesn't seem to want any yogurt, and is simply looking at him with eyes that look just as tired as he does. Stiles leans forward on the rail of his cart, mirroring the taller boy, and curses himself for always forgetting about him.

Their stand still, moments dragged on where neither one really knows what to say because saying hello seems too benign, is interrupted when Allison's dad walks up and places a box of water in the cart. The clank of plastic on metal makes him jump and Isaac sees it and it reminds Stiles that he forgets him because he kind of hates him.

"Stiles. How're you? How's your father?" 

"Fine. How are you?" He meant it for Mr. Argent, but he's looking at Isaac. 

"We're holding up. One day at a time." His voice is as tight as Isaac's muscles and Stiles wonders if Isaac has even seen anyone in the pack since the Nogitsune was killed. If anyone, he's think Isaac would have spoken with Scott, but he realizes that he wouldn't know because he hasn't seen Scott since that night at school and it's been almost two weeks.

Stiles' throat starts to close up around his own breath, and he steps back with his cart, knocking any kind of yogurt in as he goes. "Okay.. I'll see you at school next year."

He's halfway past them when he hears Isaac say that they are moving to France, but he doesn't say anything. He wishes he had someplace he could move to, some place to run away like they do, but for now he can only go home. On his drive back he passes Derek's stupid new mom car, and he drives faster. He doesn't realize his yogurt is all Key Lime until he puts them away.

-

TO: Scottie, 2:34 PM  
Did you know Isaac is moving to France with Argent?

FROM: Scottie, 7:00 PM  
yeah wow. just talked to him. thanks for letting me know

-

Two days later Stiles gets dressed, grabs a video game, gets in his Jeep, texts Scott and, despite his intentions, ends up at Lydia's house. He goes up to the door and knocks quickly, or he knows he'll chicken out. Nobody answers, and eventually he walks back down the long path only to meet Malia halfway. 

"She's not home," he says. She just walks passed him and he glares at her back. As she reaches the door, she knocks firmly and loudly and then sits on the stoop as if she's prepared to wait. For a long time. Stiles turns back around and his glare doesn't disappear because Derek is leaning against his car on the street, all sunglasses and leather coat and five o'clock shadow that never goes away.

Stiles stands there for only a moment before making his feet stomp down the sidewalk and stopping firm in front of him. 

"She's not home."

"Yes, she is."

His deep voice sends a shiver down Stiles' spine, because he hasn't heard it in so long and he's never remembered it to be nice. It probably never has been, and it isn't now. It's not mean, but it's not nice. He's about to mouth off, but remembers that Derek can probably hear Lydia's heartbeat. "Then why didn't she answer the door?"

Derek shrugs. "We've been here six times, and she hasn't answered yet."

Stiles pauses and turns, watching Malia sit on the steps like a statue. "Why is she here?" He turns back and raises an eyebrow. "Why are you here?"

Derek's lips twitch up in an indulgent smile, and Stiles bristles at the thought that he seems to be getting some kind of joy from his confusion. "She's starting school next semester, and needs to buy clothes. I told her I could help her, but she seems to think I'm not up to the job. So she's been waiting Lydia out a couple times a week."

Stiles imagines Lydia and Malia on a shopping trip together, and wrinkles his nose. Them talking doesn't settle very well with him, because he has a feeling she doesn't really know about sexual discretion. "That doesn't explain why you're here."

"I drive her." His smiles spreads a little bit more to show teeth. "Otherwise, she'd run on all fours."

Stiles is surprised by the strength of his scoff and he turns back to his Jeep. Before he can close his door and drive home, Derek's voice drifts into the cab. 

"It's good to see you out of the house, Stiles."

-

TO: Scottie, 11:10 AM  
I can't come out.

TO: Scottie, 11:11 AM  
Why is Derek so weird now?

FROM: Scottie, 11:15 AM  
i dont know. he went to south america and found peace or some kind of buddha thing. or maybe he just was never supposd to be an alpha.

FROM: Scottie, 11:15 AM  
wait you went and saw derek?

-

"Why do you think Lydia won't let anyone in her house?"

Stiles doesn't really appreciate the amount of surprise that his dad shows at the question. It's not like he doesn't talk to his dad. Maybe he hasn't started a lot of conversations lately, but he talks back when he knows something to say. Or maybe this is just another thing he's been slacking on. "Well, kid, I'm sure she's just got a lot of things to think about. I mean, she was pretty damn close to Allison. And you said that other boy, the werewolf, was her boyfriend, right?"

"Yeah, or as close as those two could get." He sticks his spoon in his chicken noodle soup and slowly stirs it, watching as it knocks chicken and celery out of it's way. "But I don't see why she doesn't just let people inside. We're only going to make things better, right?"

His dad sets his spoon down and sighs, his eyes fixed on his food. Stiles can hear the implications. 'You're not much better, Stiles.' Stiles' spoon hits his bowl. 'Why haven't you seen Scott, Stiles?' He coughs in his napkin. 'People in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks, or however that goes, kid.' He pushes back from the table. But he's stopped by a hand on his hand, and he looks up with wide eyes.

"I think.. that everyone heals in their own way, son. So maybe you should just focus on your own journey, and let that girl figure out how to live her own way."

-

The next time Stiles pulls up to Lydia's house, Derek is already there. So, Stiles gets out of his Jeep and leans next to Derek against his vehicle. They sit like that for a few minutes, watching as Malia sniffs the window, before Derek talks. 

"She's home."

"I figured." They are quiet again, though Stiles eventually starts to fidget. His tapping foot and cracking fingers start to get to even this new Buddha Derek, because he lets out a rough breath and glances at him from the corner of his eyes. It makes Stiles' heart beat a bit faster, and suddenly he's having verbal diarrhea again like he hasn't in a long time. "Aren't you wondering why I'm here?"

The hairy jaw next to him tenses before it speaks. "Sure, I'll bite. Why are you here Stiles?"

Stiles looks back at the door, only to see Malia making her way back to the car, seemingly non-plussed by the lack of interaction with Lydia. "I can't really seem to figure out how to move on from all of this, so I wanted to see how other people are doing it."

Derek doesn't reply, but as he gets in his car with Malia, he does say over his shoulder, "See you tomorrow, Stiles."

-

FROM: Scottie, 5:44 PM  
do you think the full moon messes with coyotes

TO: Scotttie, 5:57 PM  
I have no clue.

FROM: Scottie, 6:01 PM  
im worried about malia

TO: Scottie, 6:05 PM  
I think Derek has it handled.

-

Stiles finds himself a schedule, for the first time in awhile, and it helps. He gets up every morning to have breakfast with his dad and bid him farewell as he either goes to work or goes to sleep after a night shift. Then, he watches some television before meeting Derek and Malia and watching as she waits for the front door of the Martin home to never open. Sometimes he talks to Derek, sometimes he doesn't. He doesn't think Derek minds having him there, but he doesn't trip over himself to make conversation.

After they leave, Stiles goes home and finishes up homework for his online classes before making dinner, where he tries to and sometimes succeeds to talk to his dad like he used to. He doesn't think about how much stress he gave his father, how much pain he put Scott through, or how terrifying Lydia's scream was as Allison died. And he definitely doesn't think about the fact that the username LMartin shares almost all of his classes with him. 

He thinks it might mean he's healing.

-

At one point, Malia starts to climb up the scaffolding and Derek throws a rock at her head. Stiles laughs, and Derek almost seems proud.

"Why Lydia? Why can't she go to Kira?"

"She did go to Kira. Kira wanted her to wear dresses. And then she found out Lydia wouldn't open her door, and it became a bit of an obsession, I think."

If there is one thing Stiles understands, it's obsession. 

-

FROM: Scottie, 9:00 AM  
come over after school?

FROM: Scottie, 8:23 PM  
you coulda at least said no

-

"Hey, so.. how did you sleep last night?"

Stiles jumps and turns at the sink, hands still submerged in sudsy water. "Aren't you going to work?"

His dad laughs, shaking his head. "I can spend a couple of minutes to check up on you, kid." Stiles narrows his eyes. "No, don't give me that. I've kept my distance.. y'know, talking wise.. I know you don't like it. But you're looking better. Getting out of the house. Are you sleeping better?"

Stiles turns back to the water, scrubbing, rinsing and drying. He goes through a couple of plates and forks, his dad waiting patiently, before he clears his throat and speaks. "Yeah, I am. Less nightmares. I mean, I still have them, because c'mon, but.. they're less. They don't always wake me up. Not so tired in the morning."

Stiles doesn't look at his dad, but he can feel him relax. "You gonna tell me what you do all day?"

Stiles' hands stop and he looks over. One look at his dad's raised eyebrow and he rolls his eyes. "You followed me? Why are you asking if you already know, stalker?" He shakes his head, and pulls the plug out of the drain, letting it slowly flow out as he dries his hands.

"Can you blame me?" His dad laughs again. "It was only once, I promise." He winces. "Though once was enough.."

Stiles stares him down.

"Derek Hale?"

Stiles keeps staring.

"Do we need to talk about this?"

"Dad, go to work!"

-

It was a really cold day when Lydia finally opens her door. Stiles has a hoodie on, but he wishes he had known that winter would decide to rear it's ugly white head or he would have worn something heavy. Malia and Derek seem unaffected, which just adds to his aggravation, and he can't help but lean a bit closer to the stupidly supernatural heat radiating off of Derek's body. Derek, like always, doesn't seem to mind but doesn't come close to encouraging it. Stiles kind of hates him.

He's not sure if Lydia knows how cold it is and takes pity, or if she finally understands that Malia means no harm, but Derek's head shoots up right before the door slowly opens a crack. A pale face peeks out, red hair flowing from a bun above her head, and she almost seems annoyed by how long it takes for Malia to squeeze inside. Lydia meets his eyes over the lawn for a second, as if wondering if he wanted to come inside too. But he doesn't move, and she closes the door behind her. They stand together for a few moments, before Derek steps forward and turns around.

"I thought you would have gone inside?"

"I might."

"She locked the door again."

Stiles curses, before sighing. "I guess.. maybe she's not the person I wanted to see."

"Guess not." Derek shakes his head, before pulling his jacket off and slinging it over Stiles' shoulders. Stiles raises an eyebrow, despite how much warmer he suddenly feels. "I have a feeling it's going to take you awhile. Wouldn't want the human to freeze to death." 

Stiles can't even bring himself to be offended as Derek drives away. 

-

Stiles' teeth are chattering by the time he's stepped up to the McCall house door, and it opens before he can knock. Scott's eyes are wide. "Stiles!"

"Last time I checked, yeah." He doesn't think he could sound more flat if he tried, but Scott is his best friend for a reason so he does nothing but smile. Stiles tries to think of something else to say, but is saved as Kira's small body, holding a purse and coat, squeezes between them. She gives a breathy laugh, and Stiles envies her ability to be cute and awkward at the same time, instead of just awkward.

"Hi! Stiles! Sorry, I was just.. We were talking, but I'm so totally going to go." Scott makes a noise behind her, though Stiles isn't really sure he was going object, and Kira barrels on. "No, seriously, I mean I'm glad we talked, but you two, you really need to talk. About time right?" She laughs but when she realizes no one laughs with her, she blushes and rushes to her car that Stiles hadn't even noticed across the street. 

Stiles watches her run away and when the car is gone he turns back to Scott. "That girl is a mess." 

He's surprised by how loud Scott's laugh is, and realizes how much he'd missed him. When Scott steps to the side, Stiles walks in quickly, sighing at how warm the house is, and walks over to collapse against the couch. Scott follows him quickly. "Why are you so cold?"

"Stood outside Lydia's house for forty minutes, and then sat in my car for thirty."

Scott's eyebrows shoot up. "Why?"

Stiles doesn't have an answer, so he doesn't say anything, and Scott doesn't try to fill in the silence. Instead, they sit together in the dimly lit living room and just breathe the calm room in. Stiles feels himself really relax, and he slumps against the back cushion. Finally, because Scott has always known how to give him space, Stiles feels comfortable enough to talk.

"So, I wanted to ask you a question."

"Shoot."

"Do you think it's okay that I'm not, y'know.. okay? Yet?"

Scott sits back against the cushion too, twisting his mouth. It emphasizes his uneven jaw line, but Stiles doesn't mention it. "Of course it's okay. I'm not okay yet."

"You're not?"

"Nope. But I will be. Eventually." He looks over at Stiles and nudges him with his shoulder. "You will be too."

"You really think so?"

"Definitely. You're you. You always bounce back."

Stiles stares at the coffee table but he finally nods, his lips curling up. "Yeah, I do, don't I?"

Scott punches his arm, careful to hold back on the werewolf mojo, and then pinches the leather jacket. "You smell like Derek."

"Sorry."

"Do we need to talk about this?"

"Oh, god, no. By the way, we really need to work with Malia."

"Oh, god."

Recovery was actually pretty easy.

-

**Author's Note:**

> I filled a prompt for a more dominant Derek, a sassy Stiles and Stiles wearing Derek's jacket. I hope you're happy with the finished product, even if it has no dirty talk. There's always room for that in the sequel. ;) Merry Christmas!


End file.
